School Holiday Concert...yes, Christmas carols for parents to video tape day...

My third grader had a Christmas concert. But the school is too PC, so they call it a Holiday concert. Here is how our day went:

This morning before school, I said, "Im gonna wave to you!" Joseph
says, "Im not waving back".
I said, "oh real nice."
he said he's not allowed. I said "fine." I said "Then I'm jumping up and down and waving both arms and yelling, HI BEAR!! ITS MOMMY!!" he laughed.

So after all of the other grades and the choir sing, its time for the 3rd graders. Joey Bear gets on stage and spots me right away. I see his dimple, so I think he's smiling, but his lips are pursed. He is trying his hardest not to smile. He keeps sneaking a glance at me, then smirks, and looks away as quick as he can. I see him whispering to his friend next to him on stage, then his friend looks at me and smiles and they laugh.

I think, what!? Am I making a goofy grin? Am I embarrassing
him? But I dont care. I'm grinning ear to ear, just happy to see him
in his school environment, happy, relaxed.

Reminds me how lucky I am.

The "Truth" about Santa...

Today my 8 year old came home from school (3rd grade) and asked me if Santa was really real.
We've been through this before, previous christmas seasons, the older kids on the bus always try to tell the younger kids, that there is no Santa. He's asked me every year. And every year, I have said the same thing. What do you believe? He always said, he believes because every christmas, Santa brings him all kinds of toys. So, I went with that, and was so glad he was content.

This year has been different. He has asked a few times. And today, he was asking me in whisper. My 4 year old would come into the room and of course, big brother being kind, would whisper, "tell me later". I was hoping he'd forget about it. Then, he'd ask again. Of course, little brother is never far away. At 8 oclock, Joseph asks again. He says, will you tell me at bedtime? I try to avoid it, and say, if you want to talk now, lets go talk, but not at bedtime. ( I knew the cartoons were his main priority) I figured, with less than 1/2 hour before bedtime, he'll stop asking.

Of course, when I was tucking him in, he says, "Can you tell me the truth about Santa now?" Man, my heart was breaking. I think as kids get older, to encourage the "santa" stories isnt exactly good for the kids. Yes, I want him to keep believing in magic. I would love it if he kept that happy part forever. But I know in reality, that other kids won't let that happen. And I just dont want him to be the last to know. He was telling me how a bunch of his friends think its your mom and dad. but some still believe.
I was actually crying, a lot, as I was trying to explain. I said, well baby, Santa is really Mommy and Daddy.
I just dont know why I was crying so much. My husband agreed that it was probably time for him to know. And he was there for part of it, but I asked him to leave because it was making me more emotional. So, not only did I ruin christmas for him, but I probably traumatized him with my crying.

Did I do the right thing? When he used the word "truth" a couple times, I felt like I had to be honest. I dont know. all I know is I feel like I just crushed a piece of his childhood. And he'll never get that back. My baby.
I did try to explain to him that I was sad because I know he's growing up, and Im his mommy, and I love him so much.

I knew the day would come eventually. And I'm dreading him asking about the tooth fairy, easter bunny, and all that good stuff. So Sad.

Sleepovers, Friends and Famiily

My baby is growing up! My 8 year old has been to sleepover birthday parties. And of course he's spent the night at his cousin's. But last night he had his best friend spend the night. Just because. They had a blast. Played Lego Star Wars and Legos Indiana Jones most of the time. Took a break and watched Indiana Jones III. For some reason I was worried that they'd be bored, but they had fun just hanging out.

Today my cousin Johnny from NY, NY is visiting! I havent seen him since early summer, so its nice to have him over. Angie, another cousin, and her two kids will be visiting today too. We'll have a full house, and it'll be so nice!

Wrestling...fun activity or too much commitment?

Well, Soccer season is officially over for my son.  Wrestling starts in November and Im trying to decide if we should sign my 8 year old up.  He says sure, yeah, he'll do it.  But its exactly that that is worrying me.  

He has such a take it or leave it attitude.  He likes the social aspect, but he's not motivated much beyond that.  And thats okay.  But what I worry about is what should I do with that attitude?  Do I try to direct it and help him be more focused and driven?  And whats the alternative?  Its physical activity during the cold indoor winter.  I guess the one thing that is making me nervous about it, is its a 3 day a week commitment.  Practice is two weekdays for 1.5 hrs each time, plus a Sunday meet.  

I want him to have options and opportunities.  I want him to build confidence.  And I do believe sports really helps do all those things.  

But yet, I need him to want it too.

Wordless Wednesday

The Simple Woman's Daybook...

I"ve seen these posts on a few other blogs.  I figure its a good way to keep my posts going, since Im so lazy about composing something original myself.

For Today...Took my baby to the Drs for a checkup.  Need to set up appts to see a specialist for two seperate issues.  Neither too terribly scary.  

Outside my Window...I see calm.  Last night it was sooo windy.  Schools were cancelled here and throughout the neighboring cities.

I am thinking...I love it when my kitchen countertops are clean and clear of clutter.

I am thankful for...good friends.  picked up some lunch today and visited with a friend who just came back from a Disney vacation.  The kids played, I saw all the fun pictures, and we all had a good time.

From the kitchen...redbull or homemade skinny cinnamon dolce latte.  One or the other, every single morning, or else.

I am wearing...plain black t shirt, red gym shorts.

I am reading...internet news and blogs lately.  havent found a great book to keep me interested in a few weeks.

I am hoping...for success for my husband with his upcoming lifting competition.

I am creating...more closet space by weeding through them all and donating as much as I can.  

I am hearing...the phone ring.  God I love caller ID

Around the house...lots of candles that I never remember to light.

One of my favorite things...going to a park, walking the paths with my ipod blaring.  then maybe pausing to hear the birds chirp and the lake waves roll in.  That time alone makes me so grateful for everything in my life.  

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...

soccer, another annual checkup for my other baby, a little travel, and a great adventure.

So what do you get when you mix Vegas with 10 other couples, LIes, plus a dose of dread??

So we just got back from a long weekend in Vegas with 10 other couples.  1o other couples I don't know so well, only through my husbands work.  It turned out well enough though, a handful, I've know for several years.  Although I only usually spend an hour or so with them at dinner over the holidays or maybe a dinner or two a year.  but I have to say i was expecting a shit storm.  It was actually nice.  We hung out with almost everybody at one point or another.  Its a lot to have so many personalities in one group.  But luckily Im the kind of girl to sit, enjoy and observe, then I'll bitch, gossip and blog later.  

Some were a decade older than me, some a decade younger.  And honestly, it was refreshing to know, the ages didnt matter.  Assholes are assholes no matter how old they are.  

Nice.

One guy and his girl, rode in a taxi with us.  They asked the driver what the worst story they had in a taxi was.  He tells us about two guys in the back, blowing each other.  (who cares, really?) And he proceeds to tell us if its two girls he loves it.  So this guy tells us he pulls over and tells the two guys to get out. They laugh, and cheer him on.  Im so mad, but of course I sit silently(and ultimately, complaisant)

Anyhoo, this guy tells the cabby's story, then adds his own twist, says the cab driver said, Get out motherfuckers or I'll kick your ass!!!  When I heard him RETELL his story with the new twist, I say to my husband, "He didnt say that!"  To which my DH says, yeah, I noticed too.

So, Why do people lie about things that mean nothing?  To embellish a story?  The origional was good enough, but he soiled it.  

Nothing is more upsettng to me than a liar.   I dont know, I just think, Lie to me once, and I will doubt everything you've ever told me before and will tell me in the future.   

Although, maybe it was a harmless thing, him just wanting to entertain everyone.

So, I suppose this is my rant.  how do YOU feel?  Harmless or hurtful?

not so wordless wednesday...Hulk, and his 2 sidekicks

I had to put a new post up fast!  The one on my laser burned face was disturbing, lol.

Doesnt my husband look hulky?  When they say "go green", is this what they mean?  

They call them age spots, i call them UGLY!

Look how pretty I dont look!

So does anyone remember that old commercial?  An older woman is on camera and she puts her hands out, and says, "they call the age spots, I call them ugly!"  

Well, for the past year or so, I've gotten these dark spots on my face.  and they are hard to cover, besides the fact that I hate wearing foundation or concealer every day.  I finally went to a dermatologist, to get them lasered off.  Its a fairly painless procedure, lasts about 3 mins.  I walked out looking like i had pepperoni all over my face.  it took about 5 days for the scabs to go away.  I guess I just want to document this for my future feeling ugly moments.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat though.  My face actually looks one color now....

Last Day of Summer Break!!!

I can't believe summer vacation is already over!  Don't get me wrong, its time for a change.  Time for more structure for both the kids and myself.  But wow!  I used to think summers break lasted forever.  

My baby is starting 3rd grade.  And my youngest baby is starting his last year of preschool.  I suppose that means I'll have to be more productive around the house.  Actually cook something more complicated that spaghetti with meat sauce.  

Today we got together with some friends and went to a local beach.  It was beautiful out, but a little chilly with the breeze on the water.  We all had such a great time.  

Wordless Wednesday

Cedar Point, Point Place, Chowder

Dear Diary...this week,

Dear diary,

we've had a full and crazy week.  Last week we got together with friends, went to Cedar Point, went to Toledo for a couple days.  I got to see old friends and family, some who I havent seen in over a year or more.  Then we came home and brought my nephew to spend a few nights.  We then went car shopping and found a great car with everything we wanted.  Ended up having to miss a friends birthday party due to the process of buying the car.  Then my sister and family came over to pick up my nephew J-Man.  Always good to see them.  Then we went to another friends birthday party, and we all enjoyed our time.  Im not used to having a commitment to do something for 6 days in a row.  But it was definitely a good thing.  A nice change of pace from my depression?  soaked summer of not wanting to leave the house, let alone have fun.  

School is starting soon, and things are going to have to change.  I already upped the kids' bedtime by 1/2 an hour tonight.  and tomorrow it goes to a full hour (8:30) so they can be prepared for school time bedtime a little early.  

Yes, I realize I am babbling via the keyboard.  But I'll read this a few months from now and think, Oh yeah, I remember trying to get the kids situated for school year mimis.(bedtime).  Ah yeah, that was no fun.  

So.  today?  Im feeling thankful for family and friends.  

2 days down, 4 to go...

Okay, I've been less than the ideal friend this summer.  I dont know why.  Its like punishing myself in the long run.  

But with summer coming to an end here, I knew I had to get some quality time in.  On tuesday we got together with our great friends, the "Schus" or the "shoes" as I like to say.  The kids swam.  We talked in full and complete sentences.  We ate a mix of chinese and mcdonalds.  It was a good day.

Then today(on my birthday!!) I went with another great friend to Cedar Point.  thanks Header!  See, I dont have many friends, but the ones I do have, are what you would call, "Keepers." Yep.  they are so appreciated and loved.  But, my lazy butt just doesnt even think to let them know how important they are.  So D and H.  And T just by default, Thank you for liking me for what you see.   its not that I dont want to give more, its just I dont know how.

L

cute little potty mouth

My younger son, in his adorable little 4 year old voice asked me..."Mommy?  Is Fuck a bad word?"

oh my god.  I had to hide my face cause I couldnt stop from grinning and starting to laugh.  Bummer.  Now I know I have to be more careful with what the kids are around when we watch different programs.  HBO, I still love you.

Lightning is enlightning?

sitting here with my boys. They are online playing webkinz, and we are all catching glimpses of a beautiful display...lightning through the clouds. How pretty! I ran out with my youngest to take a few pics, and the mosquitoes ate us up! But it was really amazing to see nature create such a beautiful picture.

As much as I've been feeling immobile and sad lately, certain things just strike me as beautiful and moving. This lightning is one, and my kids happiness is another. Gotta love kids' ability to be happy 24/7.

trying to understand.

All I seem to do are picture posts.  So much easier, and a picture is worth a thousand words right?  Sometimes I wish I could write, or type more of what goes on in me.  Its not easy.  I have my serious ups and downs, and now is a down.  so I have the TIME to document it.  but no desire really.  How common is this?  Do most women go through sadness and depression?

Do you ever feel like not moving?  I dont mean not leaving the house.  I mean, not wanting to load a dishwasher.  Not wanting to wash clothes.  Not wanting to get up to pee.  Just like every move would take every bit of life out of you.  I hate it.  Its not fair to my kids.  Not fair to the husband.  And really, I wouldnt treat anyone as badly as I treat myself.  I am my own worst enemy.  Have you ever thought, my husband, my kids, deserve more than me?  

Wordless Wednesday....30 years of friendship

2nd grade friendships.  7 years old.  birthday parties. baton classes.  junior high.  high school.  perms.  banana clips.  boyfriends.  haunted houses.  best friends.

grown women.  wives.  mothers.  moving.  cancer.  phone calls.  depression.  frustration.  laughter.  understanding.  vacations.  phone calls.  phone calls.  email.  best friends.

30 years of friendship.  She's more than family.  I dont know what I'd do without her.  Love you T!  

Wordless Wednesday

Summer snapshots

Backyard camping.  Yep.  Once or twice a summer we put up the tent, and they love it!   Maybe someday we'll graduate to an actual campground, but to be honest, I like the comforts of home.  

We spent a fun day with friends, went to see Waterhorse and then had a cookout.  The waterballoons were a great idea.  The pool was the PERFECT size for our little ones, who are both turning 4 in a few weeks.  Not too deep, just between their waists and chests.  But big and deep enough for our big kids to have lots of fun too.
The next day my little one's friend came over for a visit.  They are so silly.  Middle of summer, but anytime is perfect to be a superhero right?  My son Nicolas is in the Hulk costume.  
The last group of snapshots are from a 4th of July party we go to every year.  Volleyball, Cornhole, and good times.  Thats my husband and sons playing cornhole.  My Joey and Nicolas looking cute as ever.  And who can pass up 4th of July colored candy corn?  On your teeth?

Wordless Wednesday

Powerlifting, Birthdays, Family visits, Oh My!

Last weekend was a busy time.  My husband, who works so hard, at work, at home, and in the gym, competed in a Powerlifting Competition.  He had a great meet and set 2 state records.  Totaled 1885 pounds.  Squat 650, Bench 515, Deadlift 720 lbs.  How hot is that?  Every single day, he is "just"my husband to me.  The days of the competitions, I watch him do what he loves to do, and I am just so impressed!  Every day, I love him for so many reasons.  And his determination is so sexy.  This photo is from a meet, several months ago.  this last meet, I only took video, which i have no idea how to load.  

The next day, we had my son's 8th birthday party.  I have such great kids.  Joseph, you have such a big, open heart.  You are kind, loving, and sensitive to others, always.  I know you will lead and love with your heart.  Sometimes that worries me.  You are an exceptional person, all 8 years of you.  I am very, very proud to be your mom.  Do you know how many of your friends moms tell me what I great kid I have?  All of them.  I say thank you, but what I really think is, "I know, isnt he???!!!"

Honestly, Bear and Nico, if you ever read this, just know that I absolutely know how lucky I am to have 2 kids who are so great.  Anyways, My oldest son's bday party was a nice time.  Lots of crazy kids running around.  He had fun, his friends had fun, and it was over too soon.  

BTW, my son is gonna try and grow a mohawk.  yep.  guitar hero has poisoned him.  he was shocked that I gave my permisson.  I said, its your hair, its not unhygienic, its just a fun experiment, why not?  He's just starting, but he's excited!

I am honored...

I received this award from one of my best friends, Real life friend too!  Thanks Donna...

The original idea was created by www.memoirsofamommyblog.com whose adorable son Noah recieved a heart transplant.  How amazing is life?  I believe organ donation is an amazing thing.  I've always been sure to be a potential donor since i first started driving. Please think of what organ donation means to frightened and optionless families.  I am so in awe of medical science and think if there is anything I could do, this is the least I could do.  

Memoirsofamommy.com says The rules of this award are: SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love. All the people who make you smile. All those that make you laugh. All those that make your day. All those that leave uplifting comments on your blog. **All I ask, is that you include a link to this post with the award and ask your recipient to do the same**

Here are some blogs that make me smile and enjoy the moment...  and forgive me for my lack of blogging knowledge.  I dont know how to put a name, which can be clicked on and sent directly to their blog...boy, I am embarrassed!!!

Donna, she's definately one of my best friends.  She's the real deal, no fluff and frosting.

Donna

and here are plenty who make me laugh and give me a few mins out of my own busy life...

bittersweet

BeholdMyBrilliance

www.notesfromthetrenches.com

McMommy Chronicles

4 fun boys

www.notwinningmotheroftheyear.blogspot.com

So, Donna, help me out.  Im getting too old I guess. ..

Wordless Wednesday...hopefully my next trip with my best girlfriend...

Uh, gee, Thanks

My 3 year old, very soon to be 4, is always saying how much he is growing.  Trying to catch up to big brother, who is 7.  So, he got on our scale today.  

N     37.5 lbs!  "See Mommy, Im getting so BIG!  Watch me!  Im so BIG!"

Me (as Im stepping on the scale)     "Yeah Buddy, you are growing every day!"

N     "See Mommy, youre getting bigger and Bigger, And BIGGER!!"

Me   "yep."

OMG, Sexxpresso? Wordless Wednesday...kinda

Back from Las Vegas!!!

We're back from our trip!  It was so much fun.  It started off with really bad luck.  We were at the airport, and they couldnt find my reservation.  My husbands was fine, but mine was nowhere to be found.  Turns up I messed up when I did all the plans online.  I am the official trip planner, and we go to vegas every year.  So why I had any trouble this time is beyond me.  I had to get a last minute, first class ticket.  No room left in coach.  Talk about a shock!  Once we got everything situated, and we got my ticket, we decided, whats done is done, and acted like there was never a snag.  Well, that is until I was up in my roomy, ultra comfy first class leather seat.  Being served free bloody marys, and taking a pic of my amazingly huge and yummy first class breakfast so I could torment my husband later.  He text me a few messages, asking how it was up there.   Accused me of maybe "forgetting" to get a ticket so I could end up in first class.  I certainly didnt do it on purpose.  But hey, I'm just not the kind of girl to be pissed with an upgrade.  And poor Bob, back there with cereal and a banana.  He was a good sport, thats for sure.

We had unusually cool Vegas weather.  It was low 70's the whole 5 days.  I have to say, I wasnt too disappointed.  When I was told, oh it sucks that the weather will be so cold for vegas.  I said, well, I cant say my fat ass is too disappointed.  Yes, we missed out on our pool time.  but Yes!  I missed out on having to squeeze into a bathing suit.  Darn!  And walking the strip was so nice in the sunny cool weather.  We stayed at the Wynn in a panoramic view room facing the strip.  It was a beautiful view, beautiful hotel.  Didnt win any money, but does anyone really expect to walk away without losing some cash?

We went to see Cirque de Soleil's O at the Bellagio.  It was very entertaining, but almost a little creepy.  I really enjoyed it, the lights and drama.  The diving from so high on stage was crazy!  I loved the water, the scene changes, the floors appearing and disappearing.  Really great.

One thing I love about Las Vegas is there are so many types of people there.  I love to people watch.  Everyone just blends right in.  There are penny slots.  And of course the diamond rooms, high rollers.  Saw some young guy playing $1000 a hand minium bets at black jack.  And that is tame compared to other tables Im sure.  Not that we are big gamblers, but we love vegas for the opportunity to take a short vacation, reconnect, feel like we are back to dating.  And Its always a blast for us to have each other all to ourselves.  

My iPhone and our love hate relationship...

Im on my 3rd, yes, 3rd iphone.  I'd been wanting one since they came out, but I had about 5 months left on my contract with Spr*nt.  Hated them, and wanted out so bad.  So, I was trying to be so patient.  THEN, a good friend of mine got one.  I saw it, played with it some, went home, and I just couldnt wait.  I got the phone and LOVED it.  The only problem was that the 8GB just wasnt enough to hold all the stuff I have on there for the kids. Anywhoo...about 2 weeks after I bought it, Apple comes out with the 16GB.  I upgraded, and paid the difference.

So then this weekend, Im carting my kids around to their various sport events.  Water bottles thrown in  a bag along with a few snacks, jackets and my phone.  the bottles were sweaty, and I guess I cant be certain if my 3 year old always closes his sigg or not. So I get home, and my phone is not working.  I get a call, and no one can hear my.  the apple logo is just flashing.  I am getting bored with this story so I'll wrap it up here....

water got into the phone, and for a fee of $300 they replaced my dead phone with a new one.  

I was without the phone for about 36 hours and I felt so frustrated!  I use that thing for so many different things!  My son checks the weather every morning before getting dressed for school.  my calendar alerts me to all my appts, responsibilities, etc.  My email is with me wherever I go.  not to mention the music and video aspect.  So, yay!  I have it back!  but boo!  How sensitive is this thing?  

Sin City, LAS VEGAS, I can't wait to see you!

I will be heading to Vegas soon, and I can't wait!!!  I cannot wait, I am so excited!   a few days of no work, no kids(sorry babies, I still love you!), no rules!  Just 4 days and nights where I can swim, gamble, drink, sleep, and eat whenever, wherever, how much I want.  I love you Las Vegas!

Wordless Wednesday Thursday!

Industry? What, I dont exist?

I was looking at my profile, and was going to add a few things.  One, I added that I'm from a Cleveland, Ohio suburb.  then I scrolled down to Industry..Job categories, etc. 

I am a stay at home mom.  I can't believe there is not one category for a SAHM.  This is a job, a responsibility, working without pay, benefits(besides the kids themselves ;) 24 hour commitment.  Dont get me wrong.  I totally admire, and many days a week, envy, working moms.  but dont discredit what I do, what I am worth.

So forgive me, but I feel a little pissed that there is NO job title for someone like me.  As if I dont feel unappreciated enough for being "Just a Mom."

What the F?

Wordless Wednesday

Too much stuff...

Everywhere I look, there is too much stuff.  In my kitchen cabinets, i can barely close the doors. We have so many bowls and containers and stuff.  Some of it never used.  Nothing expensive, just kept, just in case.  In closets, why do I keep things if they have stains or small holes?  Why havent I weeded out all the kids clothes that they've outgrown?  And really, they dont play with 10% of the toys they have, so why not get rid of it.  Come on, we only do fast food once a week but how do they accumulate the bins full of their happy meal toys.  

I hate clutter, but everywhere I look, there it is.  I start to work on one area, and it takes me so long to go through it.  then I get distracted, and its not only not done, but the mess is bigger cause I took everything out to look through it.  I am my own biggest obstacle.  

I need a system, a routine.  Why am I posting about it?  Probably to procrastinate. 

Weekend plans, Baseball fun

Went to a baseball game this weekend, took the hubby and kids.  We had a really good time.  It rained all day long, but we took a gamble and went to the baseball field, almost as a "whatever".  We figure with rain on and off all day, then heavy rain shortly before the game started we'd be out of luck.  But what do we have to lose right?  Tickets are alreay paid for.  Hopes are up.  

So we get there, and wait about 45 mins.  And guess what?  They peel the cover off the field and one lonely guy starts brushing the water off the field. Literally.  So, we were lucky enough to get to stay for the game.  We munched on hot dogs, cotton candy, pretzels, peanuts, popcorn, bratwurst, pop, and beer.  I think we spent more on food than we did on 4 tickets!  It was a lot of fun and a good memory for us all.  

Thankful Thursday...

I cant believe a week has flown by!

I am thankful for...

1. My son's best friend being okay after he split his chin open while over playing.  He is 3, and was so BRAVE!  The ER room and 3 stitches later, and barely any tears.  amazing.

2. Forgiving each other, after small misunderstanding lead to big arguments.  Then lots of silence.

3. Truly, the GIFT of finding a good Memoir or Novel to get lost into.   How funny that the particular book I happened to find, was an important message I needed to get.  

THANKFUL THURSDAY

This THURSDAY I am THANKFUL for...

1. The beautiful day we're having today.  sunny and high of 71.

2. The fact that I have such kind, loving and funny kids.

3. Thursdays, because its ALMOST the weekend!

4. Overhearing my 7 year old teach my 3 year old all sorts of odd things, like the healthy bugs in your body are good for you.

Sigg, Envirosax...spending lots of green to be green

     I bought my first Sigg water bottle a few weeks ago, and wanted to check it out before I purchaed one for my sons.  I love it, and use it all the time.  So I finally got one for the boys, check em out! 

     With all the hot summer nights approaching, they'll definitely be put to use.

I also got my Mikado Envirosax today, and used it at the grocery store.  

Being GREEN is a nice excuse to shop for new stuff!